One cannot be submissive without obedience – one cannot be obedient without being submissive. They go hand-in-hand, don’t they?
Our children are commanded to obey. We are commanded to obey God. We are commanded to submit ourselves to God. Woman are commanded to submit themselves to their own husbands. We can glean much if we read verses dealing with this topic and applying it to our lives. If we practice true biblical obedience and submission, how can an unsaved husband or disobedient husband to the Word help but see God’s goodness through our actions? If we, as wives, are not obedient and submissive to our husbands, how can we expect our children to be obedient to us? If we’re not practicing what we preach to our children, are we not hypocrites?
But if ye will not obey the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then shall the hand of the LORD be against you, as it was against your fathers. (1Sa 12:15)
When we know that God wants us to do something, yet we don’t do it, we are being disobedient. We are sinning. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. (Jam 4:17) Therefore, if God tells us to submit to our own husbands in all things, and we don’t submit in one little area, are we not sinning?
And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. (1Sa 15:22) We can play the game of sacrifice all we want, but if we disobey in one area, we are not a delight to the Lord. Let’s say my husband tells me to do something I don’t want to do. Instead I make up for it by going the extra mile in doing other things for him – that is the game of sacrifice rather than obedience. I may have all the warm fuzzy feelings in the world because I did all those extra things for him, but I did not do what he asked me to do.
But this thing commanded I them, saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and walk ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto you. (Jer 7:23) When we obey, God says it will be well with us. We will have peace in our homes and foremost in our hearts. Women are emotional creatures. God made us that way. If we are trying to be a yielded vessel to God, we know automatically when we are not doing right. We do not have that peace that our actions are what God wants. We lie to our own selves when we say that we are doing the “right” thing yet we know it is not our husband’s will.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (Col 3:20) Don’t expect your children to obey you if you don’t obey/submit to your husband. Your children do not have to witness your unsubmissive spirit – it will be evident in other ways and you will reap with disobedient children. When your children are disobedient, look inward – examine yourself first. Are you a submissive wife? If you are, then deal with your children accordingly. If you’re not, then deal with yourself accordingly. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Gal 6:7)
Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: (Col 3:22) Obedience and submission is such an important lesson for us to learn. Without it, there is chaos. That is the reason the world is in the shape it’s in. We have lost our singleness of heart (purity of heart – separation) and our fear of God. We do not see our disobedience as sin. We think we know better or have more wisdom than our husband. But the Word does not say to submit only when we think it’s right.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (1 Pe 3:1) Why would Peter say this? The “conversation” of a meek and submissive wife speaks volumes to her unsaved or disobedient husband. He does not need the Word. He sees the Word in action by her submission!
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Eph 5:22) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. (Col 3:18 ) Twice Paul commands the wives to submit their own husbands. Take notice and obey. To do otherwise, is sin.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (Jam 4:7) When we submit ourselves to our husbands, we are submitting to God’s will for our lives – as unto the Lord. God did not create us to rule our homes. No matter if we could do a better job than our husbands can, it is not our place to rule and go against his wishes. We do not have the God-given wisdom and discernment that God gives to men. We were made to nurtur, not lead. We women are emotional and do not base our decisions on logic as a man does. The devil will whisper in our ear and say that we know better but we should not succumb. We are to resist the devil – submit ourselves to God by submitting ourselves to our husbands.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Eph 5:33) The word reverence is only ever used in Scriptures as it relates to God, a king, superiors or our husbands. That should tell you something. Noah Webster says reverence means:
…to regard with fear mingled with respect and affection. We reverence superiors for their age, their authority and their virtues. We ought to reverence parents and upright judges and magistrates. We ought to reverence the Supreme Being, his word and his ordinances.
If a woman willingly submits to her husband, she reverences him. She shows him that she gives him the respect he rightly deserves. He should not receive it only when he earns it – his position as husband and head of your home says he deserves reverence. This is God appointed and God commanded. Without this order, there is chaos in the home.
Godly submission, obedience and reverence are our goals in life, ladies. We are to practice, practice, practice! When you go against your husband’s wishes, can you honestly admit that your heart and your home are at peace? Honestly? If you are experiencing strife in your home, look to your heart first and see if you are being the submissive wife God has commanded you to be. Only then will you know for sure. If you’re not, repent and ask forgiveness from God and from your dear husband.
If you are submitting to your husband as unto the Lord, God will give you grace during your trial and will provide for every need you have. He does not forsake us!!!